The hallways are filled with middle schoolers. Some I know and some are strangers. I walk to my locker and find my best friends waiting for me. As soon as I get close enough to say hey all I can hear is “Khadijahs not really considered black, she’s half white, a half breed.” Everything goes silent. I instantly stop dead in my tracks and try to think of a reaction. Fear is exploding throughout my body because I have no idea what to say. I’ve never been labeled or questioned about my race. They look at me, speak, and continue to talk as if everything was okay. As if they didn’t just turn me into an outsider.
I’ve seen color for awhile now. Ever since I knew that color mattered. I don’t judge a person because of there race/color but I definitely see them, watch and take mental notes on how different races are treated by other different races. To ignore color is to be ignorant because in order to ignore something you would’ve had to see it in the first place. Color should be embraced and accepted. Seeing color has made me open my eyes and question pretty much everything. It has not only helped me accept me for who and what I am but its helped me become the person I am today.
My family popcycle is an array of feelings kind of indescribable. I can run to my mom with anything and she is always there to help me. She instilled the go getter attitude in me because she is a hard worker and a fighter. She taught me to always ask questions. If there’s something you don’t know then ask and ask and ask until you finally understand. I have an older sister and we are completely opposite. I always thought siblings were suppose to have a lot of stuff in common but I cant even count on one hand of all the the stuff we both like. She’s a girly girl and I don’t mind getting down and dirty with the boys. Her favorite color is hot pink and mine is lime green. We are like north and south but regardless of us being complete opposites she was always there for me. If I ever had a boy problem(that I couldn’t tell my mom about) lilah(my sister) was the first person I’d run to. If I cant sleep at night and I just need to vent I can always call up my sister and we’ll talk all night about EVERYTHING! I guess I can say that even though each member in my immediate family has there own busy and hectic lives we are always there for each other.
My school popcycle is very monotonous. I feel like a zombie just running around going to class then going home without feeling anything. Its not until I found three amazing friends (chris,bri,kay) here at uf that I started to feel alive and apart of something. I have finally found a support group that I found in my family but up here in Gainesville. I can’t quite figure out what has pushed me into being a criminology major but I know I’m suppose to help people with it. Maybe a lawyer like my god dad or maybe some kind of counselor like my mom.
After taking my first law class I figured out that maybe I’m suppose to be a activist for racism in our legal system. I already see color and definitely discrimination so by me having a criminology degree I could potentially help fix the unjust laws and precedents already set.